venting

Dear midwives, please keep your phone on silent.

Dear mothers-in-law, please keep your birthing stories to yourself during someone else's labor.

Thanks!

A place to lay my head...

God is definitely my provider of all of my needs. I am very grateful that I never have to worry about that. But as I was reading my Bible the other day I had a question. Jesus didn't have a place to lay his head. So are we supposed to be like Jesus in that aspect? Are we supposed to even have a house and have a mortgage? But then I thought about how Jesus depended on others so that he could have a hot meal and a place to sleep. Anyway, this is just one of many thoughts that go through my head. Seems like the more I dive (or delve?...I'll have to look that up) deeper into the Bible, the much more I realize I do not know. I have SOOO many questions that probably make me look like I am not that spiritually mature. But sometimes you have to go back to the basics and really think about things. Right now at this moment I am sitting in my sister's house in a room with a very slow computer. I was helping her with her labor of her first child. Then it seemed like I might just be in the way, so I retreated back here. I go check on her about every 15 minutes. She is progressing well and doing a good job with the home birth. I am very bored and dependent upon Facebook to have communication with the world out there.

Seems like I am just horrible about blogging. Well the boys started school a couple weeks ago. Nic is in the 4-year-old class and Nyle Anker is in the class with one-year-olds. Nyle Baba cries every time. It's so sad to leave. He's a good boy though. They give him his blanket and then he's probably fine. Today is yellow week for Nic. The kids are supposed to wear yellow and all I could find was a 3T shirt. So it was too small, but that's all the yellow we had. Well, we also had a school T-shirt but it was like a size 10, so that didn't work too well. I try to be a good mom and have all their paperwork filled out and all their family pictures ready and Nyle's diapers ready with his name on them. Being a mom is tough! It's a lot of work and I think two is manageable!

Well, I will go for now. But I just wanted to update!

Another new beginning

So I know that God says nothing in the Bible about promising that you'll live this happy American life in a house that is furnished like a picture out of Better Homes & Gardens, BUT...this is just one desire of my heart...I think of most women's hearts. Women desire to make a home. I personally have come a long way in this area. I think that God understands that women use their home as ministry... to their family, friends, neighbors.

I have a deep desire to settle in for a while. I don't really think I know what that means though. Since I have been married to Adam (we're on our 7th year) we have lived in 7 different places...that I remember! My life has basically been chaos since I said "I do."

But I remember that God says that He will take care of our needs...and of course he has. I just want to be able to have a bed...not from a yard sale and not a hand me down. Is that too much to ask? We just purchased our 4th home (experts, right?)....we sold everything we own to move to Hungary...and when I say everything...I mean everything! OK, so we have some toys and wedding china in storage, but that's about it people! Sometimes I'm selfish and want a housewarming party to start us out right. Like a sweeper like the one I had in Hungary would be so great for our wood floors. Something so simple like that would really make me happy!

Cleaning supplies makes a mom happy! WOW, I never knew it would come to that, but then again, I didn't think shaving my legs would turn into a luxury either!

So I have been peeling through the layers of wallpaper in bedrooms...hoping to get to the sheet rock. It's been a fun, difficult and surprisingly an emotional experience. I see that someone a long time ago (1940s) took the time to put that up. In the boys' room I discovered a heart drawn on the wall with an arrow through it. How sweet! combine that with an afternoon of country music and you've got tears from Jennah.

I am just so emotional lately. the other night I silently cried myself to sleep as I was praying for our friends in Budapest. I knew that their day was just beginng and April was probably getting the kids ready and making breakfast. They used to be a train ride away. April and her husband Monte are such an encouragement to me. So I just missed them! I am sad that we are back in the States.

but I am glad that the boys will be going back to school this fall.

This is just another new beginning for me and for our family. No telling how long we will be here.

Broken heart and baby shower

So God has really broken my heart lately. It seems like I want to cry about everything. I could just cry at any moment, especially when I think about Hungary. I miss it. But I know we are supposed to be here right now. The other day I was convicted by not being bold enough for Jesus. I was talking to someone about Hungary and mentioning something about the culture. The person said, "I wonder why that is?" And my response was "I don't know." But the truth is that I do know. It's because Jesus is not their Lord. That is the answer. So why was I not bold enough to say that? Was I afraid of offending anyone? So what if I did! So I repented and cried into my pillow the other night. I have also cried a lot inside and out because of the Holocaust. We have watched so many movies about it since January. We lived in a place where thousands of people were actually killed. I saw the shoes that line the Danube in Budapest. My heart is just broken that it happened! No telling the many many stories we have not heard about. It really was not even that long ago that it happened! This life is just so precious, and to see such evil in the world disgusts me and makes me run to God that much more. But what would we expect out of the world? It's the world! Just like we should not put Christian standards on non-Christians and judge them. We need to love people. All too often Christians get puffed up and self-righteous like their sin is "nowhere near as bad as that person's." All God wants us to do is lead people to him. In my opinion, it is not our job to "fix" people's lives. Once people read the Bible, God will begin to work on their hearts. We are to love them and show them compassion. I'm tired. I think people have a misunderstanding of what Christianity is because we (imperfect humans) have complicated it!

On another note, I had a really good weekend spending time with my husband's siblings (minus Aaron) and their spouses. We showed them the house that we should close on soon. On Sunday I helped with a baby shower for a dear friend. I was sitting by the pool and got the idea to write a poem for her and her baby. I sat down to write it and then came up with the idea to make it acrostic to spell out the baby's name. We had a good time at the shower, and I enjoyed having some girl time and catching up with some old, dear friends. Moms just need to re-fuel like that sometimes. I don't have a photo bc my camera's new memory card did not cooperate. What's funny is that at the baby shower I was talking about my sister who is due about the same time as my friend Joelle. And I was looking at all the girly gifts and said "My sister's having a girl. Oh I can't wait so I can spoil her." Then I was like, "did I just say that?!" My sister doesn't even know what she's having! It's funny bc I just assumed she's having a girl, and I caught myself.

Here is the poem I wrote for baby Talitha (Tal-i-tha)

The time has come for your baby girl to arrive
All the planning and waiting since you were a bride
Little fingers and toes, we’re counting the days
It’s a time to rejoice, a time to give thanks
To God our Creator who knew from the start
How this world would be changed and so would our hearts
All because of Talitha Jaine

Back to the States

After much prayer and careful consideration, we decided to return to the States. This was not an easy decision by any means. We come back humbly and are so grateful for the opportunity to serve in Hungary and build our relationship with Zsofi and Zoltan. They actually plan to visit/live in America for a couple years to save up some money so that they can start a family. Getting back has been an adjustment. It will take some time I think to assimilate back into this culture. The first "culture shock" for me was on the plane when they offered me a drink... and in it was a bunch of solid clear cubes called ice. WOW. And unlimited refills at restaurants! Crazy! We are quick to remember how wasteful Americans are...along with their loudness. And how crazy it is in America to walk to the store- it either means your transportation broke down or you did not have any to begin with. Such norms in Hungary are not norms in America. We have different views on many things now that we have been through this experience. But it wasn't about us; it never was. It's about people hearing the Truth and making a decision to give their lives to Jesus. But we can't help but be changed. We want to give God the glory and continue to live for him each day- no matter where we are or what our circumstances are. We have gotten some jobs to get us by for now and to help our family. Who knows where we will be this time next year. I think it's important to always question why you are where you are, and if you are honoring God through that. I will write again soon, but I just wanted to update this. I need to get better at blogging.

JK

The pic is of our last night with Zsofi and Zoltan. Years ago she painted a watercolor of a famous building in Pecs, and she presented it to us. How special!

Pig's blood and picnic

Yesterday was such a great day!!!  We were invited by Zsofi to go out into the erdo (forest).  Basically we went to a campground area just outside of town in a nice village.  It is very Hungarian to assign people items to bring (kind of like a potluck).  So we got the tomatoes and peppers.  A couple of guys went to get some sticks.  They then sharpened the sticks to put on the bacon (that was from a pig slaughtered at Zoltan's family's village-there's a story behind this, too), onion and kolbasz (kind of like a shish-ka-bob).  We then put it over the campfire.  I was quickly corrected to put the food over the ash to cook and not over the flame, as we Americans like to do.  We like to have things done immediately, but not the Hungarians.  They stand there for 10-15 minutes cooking over ash.  Kind of symbolic because it takes years and years of discipleship before they make a decision for Christ.   So anyway, about the bacon...apparently it is a HUGE event for a family when they slaughter a pig.  Everyone gets together in the village to watch.  Then they actually drink the pig's blood!  Zoltan says it's so yummy with breakfast.  I think I dry heaved.  They save all the insides to cook such as the kidneys, lungs and of course the all-important, valuable spine cartilage-this is good on toast I hear- oh, and I can't forget the tongue-very expensive.  So anyway, I am roasting this "bacon"  which really just looks like a piece of pure fat off who knows where.  I like mine crunchy anyway, so I stand there a long time even after I'm told it is done.  The thing to do is catch the fat drippings onto your slice of bread-kind of like a sauce I guess.  So the time came to try it-and it was good!  Add a little sliced tomato and you've got dinner.  We spent the entire afternoon there until the sun went down.  We couldn't have asked for better weather.  But there was a little problem going into it.  Nic had a twisted ankle-an injury he acquired on the playground- and he couldn't walk well, plus he hadn't gone #2 for two days.  So NATURALLY the urge to excrete would come as we are surrounded by trees.  After a few attempts and threatenings from his parents, he finally got rid of the monster from his belly.  This is about half-way through the day.  Then, amazingly, he felt fine enough to run and play and "search for animals" in the forest.  Nic is very social and, fortunately, the Hungarians really like to play and practice their English with him.  Nyle just chilled and was laid back-Zsofi loves to hold him.  We had a great time of fellowship and meeting new people.  We met a woman named Sue who teaches English and Hungarian.  We talked a lot about why we are here and about American culture contrasts- her twin brother lives in the States. She said that she would love for us to come to her class sometime to talk to her students. Adam and I like to meet people where they are.  We are very grateful that they included us.  Nic said he had fun at the picnic and kept saying "bye picnic" as we were leaving.

Sunshine Day!

Today is a beautiful day in Hungary!  The sun is shining (I think the birds are singing).  Usually it is pretty gloomy here, which matches the moods of the nationals.  I think for many who are with our company, the "honeymoon" stage of the mission field is over!  For us, it didn't last long to begin with.  It has sunk in that we are living here, that the boys will only see their grandparents on Skype, that we will do without many of our American comforts, that we are here...until the Lord gives us permission to return to the states.   As the weather does get warmer here, it makes us miss home that much more.  Besides my family, I mostly miss my mom's cooking.  She is the best cook ever!  Besides just having to adapt to a new culture, we are adapting to a new life, new job...even new cooking.  The Lord is showing us a lot since we have been here.  I think that we constantly need to be questioning what God would have us do and what is the next step in life.  We definitely do a lot of thinking and discussion as we are here.  I think even if we went back to America now after being here 3 months, we would experience culture shock.  I bought some anti-stress body wash.  Adam says that will not help me.  Today we took the boys to the park and Nic got a chance to play with his friends...the bugs.  How sad.  He had to go pee pee, so I just took him behind the tree. That's the Hungarian way.  Tonight we are going to the Ironman house again for dinner with our national friends.  Their dodolle is awesome!  I can't wait for the dodolle festival in September.  I want to learn how to make it.  Today Nyle did something funny, as he always does.  But this poor baby always acts like he's starving.  He had crumbs all over him and so I asked Nic where his sandwich went, and he said in Nyle's belly.  So Nyle stole Nic's peanut butter sandwich and scarfed it down.  He is a bigger baby than Nic was and likes food.  Well, I just wanted to update the blog.  I will try to get more consistent.