Broken heart and baby shower

So God has really broken my heart lately. It seems like I want to cry about everything. I could just cry at any moment, especially when I think about Hungary. I miss it. But I know we are supposed to be here right now. The other day I was convicted by not being bold enough for Jesus. I was talking to someone about Hungary and mentioning something about the culture. The person said, "I wonder why that is?" And my response was "I don't know." But the truth is that I do know. It's because Jesus is not their Lord. That is the answer. So why was I not bold enough to say that? Was I afraid of offending anyone? So what if I did! So I repented and cried into my pillow the other night. I have also cried a lot inside and out because of the Holocaust. We have watched so many movies about it since January. We lived in a place where thousands of people were actually killed. I saw the shoes that line the Danube in Budapest. My heart is just broken that it happened! No telling the many many stories we have not heard about. It really was not even that long ago that it happened! This life is just so precious, and to see such evil in the world disgusts me and makes me run to God that much more. But what would we expect out of the world? It's the world! Just like we should not put Christian standards on non-Christians and judge them. We need to love people. All too often Christians get puffed up and self-righteous like their sin is "nowhere near as bad as that person's." All God wants us to do is lead people to him. In my opinion, it is not our job to "fix" people's lives. Once people read the Bible, God will begin to work on their hearts. We are to love them and show them compassion. I'm tired. I think people have a misunderstanding of what Christianity is because we (imperfect humans) have complicated it!

On another note, I had a really good weekend spending time with my husband's siblings (minus Aaron) and their spouses. We showed them the house that we should close on soon. On Sunday I helped with a baby shower for a dear friend. I was sitting by the pool and got the idea to write a poem for her and her baby. I sat down to write it and then came up with the idea to make it acrostic to spell out the baby's name. We had a good time at the shower, and I enjoyed having some girl time and catching up with some old, dear friends. Moms just need to re-fuel like that sometimes. I don't have a photo bc my camera's new memory card did not cooperate. What's funny is that at the baby shower I was talking about my sister who is due about the same time as my friend Joelle. And I was looking at all the girly gifts and said "My sister's having a girl. Oh I can't wait so I can spoil her." Then I was like, "did I just say that?!" My sister doesn't even know what she's having! It's funny bc I just assumed she's having a girl, and I caught myself.

Here is the poem I wrote for baby Talitha (Tal-i-tha)

The time has come for your baby girl to arrive
All the planning and waiting since you were a bride
Little fingers and toes, we’re counting the days
It’s a time to rejoice, a time to give thanks
To God our Creator who knew from the start
How this world would be changed and so would our hearts
All because of Talitha Jaine

Back to the States

After much prayer and careful consideration, we decided to return to the States. This was not an easy decision by any means. We come back humbly and are so grateful for the opportunity to serve in Hungary and build our relationship with Zsofi and Zoltan. They actually plan to visit/live in America for a couple years to save up some money so that they can start a family. Getting back has been an adjustment. It will take some time I think to assimilate back into this culture. The first "culture shock" for me was on the plane when they offered me a drink... and in it was a bunch of solid clear cubes called ice. WOW. And unlimited refills at restaurants! Crazy! We are quick to remember how wasteful Americans are...along with their loudness. And how crazy it is in America to walk to the store- it either means your transportation broke down or you did not have any to begin with. Such norms in Hungary are not norms in America. We have different views on many things now that we have been through this experience. But it wasn't about us; it never was. It's about people hearing the Truth and making a decision to give their lives to Jesus. But we can't help but be changed. We want to give God the glory and continue to live for him each day- no matter where we are or what our circumstances are. We have gotten some jobs to get us by for now and to help our family. Who knows where we will be this time next year. I think it's important to always question why you are where you are, and if you are honoring God through that. I will write again soon, but I just wanted to update this. I need to get better at blogging.

JK

The pic is of our last night with Zsofi and Zoltan. Years ago she painted a watercolor of a famous building in Pecs, and she presented it to us. How special!

Pig's blood and picnic

Yesterday was such a great day!!!  We were invited by Zsofi to go out into the erdo (forest).  Basically we went to a campground area just outside of town in a nice village.  It is very Hungarian to assign people items to bring (kind of like a potluck).  So we got the tomatoes and peppers.  A couple of guys went to get some sticks.  They then sharpened the sticks to put on the bacon (that was from a pig slaughtered at Zoltan's family's village-there's a story behind this, too), onion and kolbasz (kind of like a shish-ka-bob).  We then put it over the campfire.  I was quickly corrected to put the food over the ash to cook and not over the flame, as we Americans like to do.  We like to have things done immediately, but not the Hungarians.  They stand there for 10-15 minutes cooking over ash.  Kind of symbolic because it takes years and years of discipleship before they make a decision for Christ.   So anyway, about the bacon...apparently it is a HUGE event for a family when they slaughter a pig.  Everyone gets together in the village to watch.  Then they actually drink the pig's blood!  Zoltan says it's so yummy with breakfast.  I think I dry heaved.  They save all the insides to cook such as the kidneys, lungs and of course the all-important, valuable spine cartilage-this is good on toast I hear- oh, and I can't forget the tongue-very expensive.  So anyway, I am roasting this "bacon"  which really just looks like a piece of pure fat off who knows where.  I like mine crunchy anyway, so I stand there a long time even after I'm told it is done.  The thing to do is catch the fat drippings onto your slice of bread-kind of like a sauce I guess.  So the time came to try it-and it was good!  Add a little sliced tomato and you've got dinner.  We spent the entire afternoon there until the sun went down.  We couldn't have asked for better weather.  But there was a little problem going into it.  Nic had a twisted ankle-an injury he acquired on the playground- and he couldn't walk well, plus he hadn't gone #2 for two days.  So NATURALLY the urge to excrete would come as we are surrounded by trees.  After a few attempts and threatenings from his parents, he finally got rid of the monster from his belly.  This is about half-way through the day.  Then, amazingly, he felt fine enough to run and play and "search for animals" in the forest.  Nic is very social and, fortunately, the Hungarians really like to play and practice their English with him.  Nyle just chilled and was laid back-Zsofi loves to hold him.  We had a great time of fellowship and meeting new people.  We met a woman named Sue who teaches English and Hungarian.  We talked a lot about why we are here and about American culture contrasts- her twin brother lives in the States. She said that she would love for us to come to her class sometime to talk to her students. Adam and I like to meet people where they are.  We are very grateful that they included us.  Nic said he had fun at the picnic and kept saying "bye picnic" as we were leaving.

Sunshine Day!

Today is a beautiful day in Hungary!  The sun is shining (I think the birds are singing).  Usually it is pretty gloomy here, which matches the moods of the nationals.  I think for many who are with our company, the "honeymoon" stage of the mission field is over!  For us, it didn't last long to begin with.  It has sunk in that we are living here, that the boys will only see their grandparents on Skype, that we will do without many of our American comforts, that we are here...until the Lord gives us permission to return to the states.   As the weather does get warmer here, it makes us miss home that much more.  Besides my family, I mostly miss my mom's cooking.  She is the best cook ever!  Besides just having to adapt to a new culture, we are adapting to a new life, new job...even new cooking.  The Lord is showing us a lot since we have been here.  I think that we constantly need to be questioning what God would have us do and what is the next step in life.  We definitely do a lot of thinking and discussion as we are here.  I think even if we went back to America now after being here 3 months, we would experience culture shock.  I bought some anti-stress body wash.  Adam says that will not help me.  Today we took the boys to the park and Nic got a chance to play with his friends...the bugs.  How sad.  He had to go pee pee, so I just took him behind the tree. That's the Hungarian way.  Tonight we are going to the Ironman house again for dinner with our national friends.  Their dodolle is awesome!  I can't wait for the dodolle festival in September.  I want to learn how to make it.  Today Nyle did something funny, as he always does.  But this poor baby always acts like he's starving.  He had crumbs all over him and so I asked Nic where his sandwich went, and he said in Nyle's belly.  So Nyle stole Nic's peanut butter sandwich and scarfed it down.  He is a bigger baby than Nic was and likes food.  Well, I just wanted to update the blog.  I will try to get more consistent.

Love from the States!

Today is St. Patrick's Day!  And although we are not Catholic, I think it is a fun holiday to celebrate as far as the festivities.  I LOVE green!!! Apparently it's the color of the spring season in the states, so I've heard.  So today I am head-to-toe in green clothes from my ponytail holder to my shoes that Susan got for me.  Usually I make green pancakes and green eggs to celebrate the event, but we do not have any food coloring.  I have collected 4-leaf clovers since I was little.  I have jewelry(the ring Adam got me in 2002, and the necklace and earrings my mom got from Japan) and towels and clothes.  Some might think that it is paganistic for me to do such a thing...4-leaf clovers...isn't that believing in luck?  Well, I would like to say that to me, 4-leaf clovers represent the Father, the Son, the Holy Spirit and God's grace.  I think it is an opportunity to share the gospel.  It's by grace that we are saved, through faith and not by works. Anyway, I would also like to take this time to point out that in the Bible, Peter did not want anyone to bow down to him in person, so why would we bow down to his statue??...tangent, I know but still relevant on this day.

This week (it's only Tuesday) has been a week that we have been showered with gifts from home.  A dear friend of ours who sang in our wedding, Julie, sent us a care package with lots of goodies in it including pancake and biscuit mix and the coveted syrup.  Also included were three issues of The World of Gospel magazine.  This is a fairly new magazine that is circulated in the River Valley area.  Well it just so happened that Lydia Joseph-George, the editor/creator, was dropping some off at the post office so Julie put some in there.  Lydia told Julie to have me e-mail her to see what I thought of it.  So I e-mailed Lydia yesterday to tell her what I thought.  She was sooo nice! She is a former 5News anchor and reporter, so I told her how I always wanted to take my passion for news and meld it together with my passion for getting the "good news" out there.   She told me that she would be interested in having me write some stories maybe every 2-3 months.  Of course I'm thrilled.  I would love to communicate what is going on in the world through my missionary eyes.  So that is a praise for me!  

Also this morning, a package arrived from my mom, dad and brother.  In it was Valentine's candy and brownie mix and Skittles and green St. Paddy's Day dish towels to name a few.  She also got Nic the green goblin ...so now he has the villain!  Yay, now we get to fight the bad guy all over the house. At this moment, he is whining because the tiny yellow ball that the goblin throws won't stay in his hand.  This should be fun. Anyway, we greatly appreciate people thinking about us and sending us pkgs.  I almost feel spoiled.  Really we can make it just fine in a foreign country without syrup and pancake mix and comforts from home.  We are fine without all that.  But it sure helps the mood around here.   

Well that's all for now.   Just wanted to update.  Thanks for all the love!!!

Our Fam

Here is a recent photo of our family!

Growing up!

Nic & Nyle are growing up fast!   When we got here Nic could barely reach the lightswitch in his room and was still in pull-ups.  Now he's a big boy, wearing big boy underwear and doesn't need our help to make his room... which he refers to as a dark, scary cave... light again.  He has also been consistent going pee pee in the potty.  We are still working on #2.  He's had some accidents.  I've done some reading and it talked  about expecting a setback when there has been something traumatic in a child's life such as a "big move."  Well poor Nic has been though a lot.  He has lived in 5 places in the last year.  The other day he said  "after we live in this house, then we'll move to a new house."  He just expects it.  The kid has no stability.  BUT he does have stability in knowing that his parents will be there for him and the Bible is our foundation for everything we do.  Little Nyle..."Baba Nyle" is what we call him now...has developed so much.  He is pulling himself all around the house, making his way from room to room.  He HAS officially crawled, but he really just likes sliding.  Then when he gets where he wants to be (usually the bathroom for some reason, I don't know maybe he wants to be potty trained) he pulls up on everything to stand up.  He really prefers to stand.  He does the yoga move downward dog a lot trying to stand up on his own.  So most the time if he's fussy we'll just prop him up next to the couch and he is fine on his feet.  I think he will walk early.  Nic just breaks my heart though.  He has such an imagination.  He'll pretend MeMe and PaPa are here.  He'll go to the door, let them in and then show them his room.  I'll be playing with him and he'll say "tickle me, Vow" (Vow is my mom)  I'll tickle him and play "boo" like Vow does, and he'll keep calling me Vow.  Sometimes Nic will say that he's going to get on the airplane and fly home.  It's just so sad.  He's even had me pretend that I'm Mylo and he is Otis.  You know it's bad if he misses the cats.  But I am so thankful for Skype and that we can talk to and see our relatives on a pretty regular basis.  I'm also so SO thankful for the generous packages sent to us here.  We've had a couple people from church send us our "want" and "we miss"  items.  They definitely help.  We feel loved and supported...and frankly it just makes us feel better to have tortillas and peanut butter on hand.  Of course my mom and dad (Tim & Donnetta) and in-laws Rick & Cynthia have also sent things for the boys and for us.  But prayer is the most important thing we can ask for.  Just because we are m's doesn't mean we are immune to problems.  Our geography just changed.  In fact, can you imagine spending all day every day with your spouse?  Some might say, "oh how wonderful."  For the most part it is great, especially to have Adam help with the boys, BUT it's good to have time away to re-charge.  It does get stressful here with language learning.  We have private lessons every morning for 2 hours (1 hr. each for now till Nic gets to go to school).  I get worked up about it because I just want to do my best.  Hungarian is very difficult.  The nationals even say it is.   Anyway, we have spent a lot of time reading our Bibles.  When we went to Budapest, Larry & Melinda, a couple serving on our team, gave us each The Daily Walk Bible.  It has been soooo good.  The translation is just so understandable and it takes you through the whole Bible day by day.  I have never read through the Bible.  Right now I am reading through the Old Testament.  It has brought about so many questions that I have.  I am keeping a journal of my thoughts about it.   It definitely makes me that much more thankful that Jesus came to earth.  Adam has been getting involved with playing basketball here and running with our language teacher's boyfriend.  I am still working on getting together with some people.  It's tough to work around nap times.  We all look forward to the warm weather, which should be here in a month or 2.  Our Hungarian friends say that we can go camping sometime when it gets warm.  We tried to explain to them Smores, well first we had to explain marshmallow...but they look forward to it and so do we!   I have had so many thoughts in my head and I really just love typing because I'm so much faster at it than writing in my journal.  Blogging is new to me, so I hope to get up to speed on all this.