Emotions

I have so many emotions right now. First of all, Mylo has been missing for a week and a half. I held out hope...even on a couple of leads, but when they turned up nothing I finally broke down and cried tonight. He has been my friend for nearly 6 1/2 years. He was there 2 weeks before we were married. He spent many nights in Stillwater sitting on our homework...as I tried to complete statistics problems. He watched as we drove away each morning to class. Mylo was there before any kids. He was strictly an indoor cat, but sometimes he was allowed in the back yard. There was a time when I was 3 months pregnant that I had to jump the fence to get Mylo in the neighbors back yard. This was no normal back yard, but a texas chainsaw massacre looking back yard. Scary stuff. but I managed to get Mylo after climbing a very tall fence and jumping over...and still made it to work on time. Mylo has been extremely friendly and has accompanied us on several of our moves. A few weeks ago he went to Nic's school to say hi to all the kids. He had a good time. I miss his fur. I miss his love. His brother Otis misses him, too. If there was a time lately where we didn't know where Mylo was, we just call his name and he RUNS up to the porch. He is a bit of a scaredy cat about things, too. He is jumpy. So it makes it that much more unusual that he just suddenly disappeared. Now, my mom did buy some food at the store that he didn't like. So that might have prompted him to leave. But we have been calling his name for so long now. It's just not like him. So I have prayed about it, given it to God and just said if it's His will, then Mylo will come home.

But today I repented for being so superficial. I mean, I know it's a cat! It's not a human! Some people do not even know if they are going to get a meal or medical care or a place to sleep! How petty that I am praying about my cat when there are children who need to be found! Right now, there are children who are not at home where they need to be. There are babies who have cancer, who are in so much pain! There are the parents who are on the journey with their babies going through all the treatments! My heart is broken. I don't even know what to do other then to give these things to God. Specifically, Collin Marsh. Words can't even express what I am feeling for him and his family! Thankfully they are believers. Some people have no hope. I'm concerned about my cat while people are dying who do not know Jesus.

Do I know Jesus? I try to. I try to get Jesus firsthand through reading the Bible. I want Jesus in my life. Each day is a struggle. In my opinion, it's a good sign you are a believer if you are struggling. If everything's fine, then start to worry.

So, I just have all sorts of emotions right now. I am sad about Mylo, I'm trying to figure out what I'm doing in this life (where to live, what to do for money, etc.) Nic's best friend is moving and I am going to miss them so much. Because honestly, I haven't heard from many people since we have been back. And it's been Anderson's mom, Erin, who has really reached out and been so sweet and such a great friend. I am feeling some depression and overall sadness. And it's the Christmas season which probably depresses me more that we as a country miss the point. And it's super cold outside!

Maybe people haven't gotten in contact with us bc they feel we owe them an explanation. Well, you will get the filtered explanation if you ask. And if you have a problem that we came home from Hungary, I guarantee there are places in the world where you can go serve as a missionary if you're that concerned about it!